Divorce/Family Mediation – The Benefits

 The benefits that are achieved by mediation as it relates to family breakdown and divorce are both tangible and intangible. More and more people are considering mediation as a smarter and more beneficial means to settle disputes especially around divorce and separation. It is a much more productive environment and has a very high success rate.

 Let’s look at some of the “tangible” benefits first.

Tangible Benefits of Mediation

• Money. In most cases the financial cost of mediation can be far less that a protracted legal battle.
• Time. Mediation is going to be a much faster process because it is, for the most part, dependent upon the availability of the participants as apposed to court dates and judges decisions that can literally take months and sometimes years.
• A plan of action. Mediation allows flexibility and a more personalized plan of action which allows for things to take place in an orderly fashion accommodating both parties and others.

 Intangible Benefits of Mediation

• Control over outcomes. When you go before a judge you are in fact “rolling the dice” and hoping the judge is going to see it your way. Good or bad, you have to live with the judge’s decision.  A mediated settlement gives you control over outcomes, outcomes you agree to and can live with.

• Objectivity. When embroiled in conflict it is very difficult to be objective and perhaps pragmatic in terms of what is or isn’t reasonable. The mediator can help parties “see” the situation without the emotional baggage which often is the key to a successful mediation. This allows for true insight and enhances a resolution that benefits everyone.

• Emotional Health. Because mediation allows for parties to “air out” issues that are important to them, the essential need to be heard and understood is met  allowing for closure around many issues and can cause lingering bitterness and taint outcomes.

 In summary, mediation makes sense for most conflicts. This is even truer when it comes to family divorce and or separation matters.

 When you consider the time, money and emotional costs involved in court actions, mediation or some sort of collaborative solution is almost always the best rout to take. The decision to go the mediation process doesn’t necessarily mean or even imply some sort of restored relationship, a “lets be friends” type thing, but just a smarter way of handling disputes.

 Mediation – Why It Works

 Approximately 85% of conflicts that employ mediation end with a positive resolution, that being that both parties have come to agreement around a particular conflict. Why the great success rate? There are a number of factors that play a roll in this, they are;

 Predisposition

 Both parties are predisposed to settle out of court. This doesn’t necessarily mean the parties actually desire mediation but see it as the lesser of two evils. Maybe there are kids involved and the parties are motivated to protect them or maybe it’s a financial decision. It could be a time factor or a host of other reasons that have nothing to do with genuinely desiring to sit down and work things out. The point being that there is motivation on both sides of the conflict for resolution outside of a court of law.

 Environment

A court of law has everything to do with the law and very little to do with what may or may not be the right or best way to resolve a conflict. A court, for the most part, seeks only to uphold the law which in many cases has little or nothing to do with justice or the feelings or consequences of any decision it makes. The law is the very blunt instrument.

 Mediation, while it must account for the law, allows for people to work out their conflicts themselves with the help of a trained professional. The power remains with the parties involve and not the courts.

 Being Heard

A person’s chance of being “heard” is often an essential ingredient of why mediation is successful because it meets the very primal need of the parties in conflict to say what they want to say and be understood without having necessarily to “prove” or “defend” how they feel or see matters concerning the conflict.

 Healthier Emotional Outcomes / Closure For Both Parties.

 One major reason that mediation works is that that which was agreed to seldom falls apart and ends up in court down the road. Why? Besides the obvious reason, that being, that the parties worked out the agreement themselves is that there was a sense of closer.

 There are few issues left unresolved in the mediation process. Courts can bring legal closer to a conflict even with appeals etc. but usually do not bring emotional closer which can affect the lives of those concerned for years after the court has made its decision. Mediation can help bring emotional closure and reduce or eliminate the bitterness that can result from court proceedings and unresolved issues.

Mediation Ottawa – How It Works

 The mediation process in Ottawa is no different than anywhere else, just as Ottawa mediators are no better or worse than any other major centre. The process is basically the same where ever you are.

 Generally what happens is one or both parties in a conflict typically will want to avoid litigation, which can be very expensive and divisive and so they will seek out a mediation lawyer or a mediation service. There are lots of good ones in Ottawa.

 Often when one party wants to go the mediation route they will contact the other party themselves directly or if it is necessary, have their lawyer or  mediator approach the other party in the conflict to see if they are open to mediation.

Both parties can retain access to legal advice and representation from their lawyers, if they want to, throughout the mediation process, and litigation still remains on the table as a final option if required.

 The Mediation Process

Once the terms of the mediation are agreed to by both parties the mediator will create a formal document to be signed by both parties setting out who will attend mediation, who the mediator will be, the agreed fee as well as the time and place where mediation process will be carried out.

 The Pre-Mediation

Generally mediators will schedule a separate pre-mediation meeting with each participant to determine the perspective of each client concerning the conflict, the facts surrounding the conflict and will pay attention to personal dynamics at play between the parties involved. This is where any questions about the process can be asked and answered.

 The Actual Mediation

The mediator will basically listen and guide the process to facilitate increased understanding between the participants. They will use problem-solving techniques aimed to help participants reach win/win solutions remembering that the goal is to come to find solutions that both parties are in agreement with. The mediation session can last 2-3 hours with a second meeting scheduled if necessary.

 The Follow-up

Generally, if the parties agree, the mediator may follow-up a few months after the completion of the mediations to see how things have gone and to be of further assistance if required.

In summary, most Ottawa mediation services will be of great benefit for those who are seeking resolution without litigation. Some lawyers will refer mediators or they themselves, having been trained in mediation, will carry out mediation process themselves either way, mediation is the preferred way to handle conflicts if at all possible.